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"I shall hear about you all," said he; that is my chief consolation. I shall hear of every thing that is
going on among you. I have engaged Mrs. Weston to correspond with me. She has been so kind as to
promise it. Oh! the blessing of a female correspondent, when one is really interested in the absent!--she
will tell me every thing. In her letters I shall be at dear Highbury again."
A very friendly shake of the hand, a very earnest "Good-bye," closed the speech, and the door had
soon shut out Frank Churchill. Short had been the notice--short their meeting; he was gone; and Emma
felt so sorry to part, and foresaw so great a loss to their little society from his absence as to begin to be
afraid of being too sorry, and feeling it too much.
It was a sad change. They had been meeting almost every day since his arrival. Certainly his being at
Randalls had given great spirit to the last two weeks--indescribable spirit; the idea, the expectation of
seeing him which every morning had brought, the assurance of his attentions, his liveliness, his manners! It
had been a very happy fortnight, and forlorn must be the sinking from it into the common course of
Hartfield days. To complete every other recommendation, he had almost told her that he loved her. What
strength, or what constancy of affection he might be subject to, was another point; but at present she
could not doubt his having a decidedly warm admiration, a conscious preference of herself; and this
persuasion, joined to all the rest, made her think that she must be a little in love with him, in spite of every
previous determination against it.
"I certainly must," said she. "This sensation of listlessness, weariness, stupidity, this disinclination to sit
down and employ myself, this feeling of every thing's being dull and insipid about the house!-- I must be
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in love; I should be the oddest creature in the world if I were not--for a few weeks at least. Well! evil to
some is always good to others. I shall have many fellow-mourners for the ball, if not for Frank Churchill;
but Mr. Knightley will be happy. He may spend the evening with his dear William Larkins now if he
likes."
Mr. Knightley, however, shewed no triumphant happiness. He could not say that he was sorry on his
own account; his very cheerful look would have contradicted him if he had; but he said, and very steadily,
that he was sorry for the disappointment of the others, and with considerable kindness added,
"You, Emma, who have so few opportunities of dancing, you are really out of luck; you are very
much out of luck!"
It was some days before she saw Jane Fairfax, to judge of her honest regret in this woeful change;
but when they did meet, her composure was odious. She had been particularly unwell, however, suffering
from headache to a degree, which made her aunt declare, that had the ball taken place, she did not think
Jane could have attended it; and it was charity to impute some of her unbecoming indifference to the
languor of ill-health.
CHAPTER XIII
mma continued to entertain no doubt of her being in love. Her ideas only varied as to the how
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much. At first, she thought it was a good deal; and afterwards, but little. She had great pleasure in hearing
Frank Churchill talked of; and, for his sake, greater pleasure than ever in seeing Mr. and Mrs. Weston;
she was very often thinking of him, and quite impatient for a letter, that she might know how he was, how
were his spirits, how was his aunt, and what was the chance of his coming to Randalls again this spring.
But, on the other hand, she could not admit herself to be unhappy, nor, after the first morning, to be less
disposed for employment than usual; she was still busy and cheerful; and, pleasing as he was, she could
yet imagine him to have faults; and farther, though thinking of him so much, and, as she sat drawing or
working, forming a thousand amusing schemes for the progress and close of their attachment, fancying
interesting dialogues, and inventing elegant letters; the conclusion of every imaginary declaration on his
side was that she refused him. Their affection was always to subside into friendship. Every thing tender
and charming was to mark their parting; but still they were to part. When she became sensible of this, it
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