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of my unmatched skill? I am almost Mr. Darcy s nearest relation in the world, and entitled to know all his dearest concerns.
Such great skills! Such a slayer of zombies! And yet, when one was in your home, you had not perception enough to see her.
Are you so daft as to suppose that I did not know Charlotte for what she was? Are you incapable of understanding my generous motives? That my new priest might know some measure of
happiness? Tell me, why do you suppose she changed so slowly? Why did I invite her to tea so often-for the pleasure of her company? No! It was my serum which kept her alive those few happy
months. A few drops at a time, unnoticed, into her cup.
Such an experiment can hardly be called generous. You did nothing but prolong her suffering!
Let me be rightly understood. This match, to which you have the presumption to aspire, can never take place. Never! Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Now what have you to say?
Only this; that if he is so, you can have no reason to suppose he will make an offer to me.
Lady Catherine hesitated for a moment, and then replied:
The engagement between them is of a peculiar kind. From their infancy, they have been intended for each other. It was the favourite wish of his mother, as well as of hers. While in their cradles,
we planned the union: and now, at the moment when the wishes of both sisters would be accomplished in their marriage, to be prevented by a young woman of inferior birth, of no importance in the
world, and trained in China of all places! Are you lost to every feeling of propriety and delicacy? Have you not heard me say that from his earliest hours he was destined for his cousin?
Yes, and I had heard it before. But what is that to me? If there is no other objection to my marrying your nephew, I shall certainly not be kept from it by knowing that his mother and aunt wished him
to marry Miss de Bourgh. If Mr. Darcy is neither by honour nor inclination con-
fined to his cousin, why is not he to make another choice? And if I am that choice, why may not I accept him?
Because honour, decorum, prudence, nay, interest, forbid it. Yes, Miss Bennet, interest; for do not expect to be noticed by his family or friends, if you wilfully act against the inclinations of all. You
will be censured, slighted, and despised, by everyone connected with him. Your alliance will be a disgrace; your name will never even be mentioned by any of us.
These are heavy misfortunes, replied Elizabeth. But the wife of Mr. Darcy must have such extraordinary sources of happiness necessarily attached to her situation, that she could, upon the
whole, have no cause to repine.
Obstinate, headstrong girl! I am ashamed of you! Is this your gratitude for my attentions to you last spring? Is nothing due to me on that score? I am not in the habit of being refused!
Nor am I in the habit of being intimidated.
I will not be interrupted! Hear me in silence! My daughter and my nephew are formed for each other. Their fortune on both sides is splendid. They are destined for each other by the voice of every
member of their respective houses; and what is to divide them? The upstart pretensions of a young woman whose sister was lately concerned in a scandalous elopement with the son of the elder
Darcy s musket-polisher? A woman without family, connections, or fortune?
Your daughter s fortune is indeed splendid. But pray tell, what other qualities does she possess? Is she fetching? Is she trained in the deadly arts? Has she even strength enough to lift a
Katana?
How dare you! Tell me once for all, are you engaged to him?
Though Elizabeth would not, for the mere purpose of obliging Lady Catherine, have answered this question, she could not but say, after a moment s deliberation:
I am not.
Lady Catherine seemed pleased.
And will you promise me, never to enter into such an engagement?
I would sooner die than see my honour so defiled.
Then Miss Bennet, said Lady Catherine, setting down her parasol and removing her coat, die you shall. Upon this, she set her feet for combat.
Do you mean to challenge me to a duel, your ladyship? Here, in my family dojo?
I mean only to rid the world of an insolent little girl, and preserve the dignity of a superior man, lest Pemberley be forever polluted by your stench.
If that be the case, said Elizabeth, dropping her parasol, then let this be our first and final battle. Elizabeth set her feet in return.
The two ladies-separated by more than fifty years, yet hardly at all in abilities-remained thus for a moment, until Lady Catherine, her plan of attack fully formed, leapt skyward with a strength quite
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