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and collected. He looked divine. Tristan felt his breath catch. His mind overlapped some of
what he d seen on the videos with what he d done and had yet to do with Gabriel.
Seeming to read his thoughts, Gabriel asked, Do you want to talk about what you
saw?
Uh& Oh, shit. Was he serious? Even though Tristan had about a bazillion questions
he d probably die from mortification before he uttered a word. Um& No, that s okay.
I& uh& Wringing out his washcloth, Tristan slapped it over a towel rack, mumbled an
excuse me so his brother would let him pass, and beat a hasty retreat back to the living
room. He stopped dead in his tracks. What he needed to do was finish his resume, but no
way in hell was he sitting in front of the computer again, right now.
I think we should, Gabriel said, behind him. Tristan turned and watched his brother
approaching, hips rolling in that smooth controlled glide of his. Tristan wanted to retreat, but
his feet seemed rooted to the ground. He could only stare as his twin approached.
Gabriel cupped his face, and locked gazes with him. You re afraid. I know you,
Tristan. I know Dad and the poison he s whispered for so many years. It s not easy to get
over that. I want you to be comfortable with yourself, with me& with us.
Tristan let his eyes drift closed as Gabriel s thumb slid over his cheek. His senses
seemed amplified by his arousal. He could feel the warmth of Gabriel s hands and also the
cold band of the silver ring on his brother s thumb. He heard his heart thumping in his chest,
increasingly frantic as fear took hold. He d overreacted, and instead of reading him the riot
act, Gabriel understood. Strangely it only increased his anxiety. He could have dealt with a
snarky comment or two, even attitude from his twin. This gentle understanding nearly tore
him in two with the guilt. How could Gabriel be so comfortable with who he was, and yet
Tristan still struggled to be honest with himself? Tristan felt like he didn t belong in any
world. He had the views and cynicism of his father etched into his brain. He d lived the life
of a straight man, engaged in unfulfilling relationships because of fear, and because of
BROKEN Sage Whistler
54
bigotry, had suffered a seven year split from the only man who made him feel whole. And
now that everything he d thought he wanted was in reach, he hesitated, he feared, he pushed
it away. He was ashamed ashamed for wanting, ashamed for lusting, ashamed for enjoying
every moment of it. Ashamed that even now, with Gabriel framing his face and regarding
him like precious treasure, that he ached on the inside for something more. Oh, God, how he
wanted.
Gabriel had always known his heart. His twin was right. He was afraid.
Tristan wasn t the only one scared. Gabriel was on pretty shaky ground himself, albeit
for entirely different reasons. He didn t want to push Tristan, to scare him away and sever
the fragile connection they d begun to build. Yet, he knew that he had to push Tristan. His
brother was certainly never going to come out of hiding by himself. He understood what
Tristan had to feel like, after all it hadn t been so very long ago when he d realised he was
different. Back then, his fear had stemmed more from the rejection of his family than the fact
that he was a gay man. He d known his father would object to having a gay son. He d even
known his mother, who d never stood up to their father a day in her life, would also follow
suit. But it was what he hadn t known that had hurt him the worse. He hadn t expected the
rejection from Tristan. If anything, he d always believed he could count on the love and
acceptance from his brother. When he hadn t found it, Gabriel had been crushed.
The experience had made him stronger. Although he would not wish to live seven more
years without Tristan at his side, Gabriel knew he had done the right thing when he d left.
It was one of the biggest differences between the twins. Gabriel was willing to embrace
who he was. Tristan was more inclined to want to please, even if it meant hiding his true self,
needs and desires. Tristan had fought so long and hard to please their father. All Gabriel
wanted to do was teach his brother that it was okay to be a little selfish. It was time Tristan
started doing things that made him happy.
So, Gabriel pushed, knowing it was what had to be done. Open your eyes, Tristan, and
tell me what you want. He made the order firm but with an edge of gentleness.
Tristan shook his head. A bead of moisture formed in the corner of his eye and slid
down his cheek as he did so. I can t.
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Gabriel caught the teardrop with his thumb and brushed it away. You can. Don t be
afraid to be yourself, brother. You re here with me, and you re safe. I m not going to judge
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