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it. I felt uneven ridges under my fingertips.
Lots of them. Like scars? He shifted off me
and my hands fell away. I knew better than
to ask.
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But he didn t go far. Ethan moved to his
side and propped himself up and stared at
me some more. Thank you for that, he
whispered, tracing my face with one finger-
tip, and for trusting me. He smiled at me
again. I love that you re here in my bed.
How long has it been since someone
was in this bed with you, Ethan? If he could
ask, then so could I.
He grinned, looking very smug. It s
been since& never, my darling. I don t bring
women here.
Last I checked I was a woman.
He raked suggestive eyes over my body
before answering. Definitely a woman. He
met my eyes. But still, I don t bring other
women here.
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Oh& I sat up against the headboard,
pulling the sheet to my breasts. How in the
hell is that not a lie? That surprises me. I
would think that you d get more offers than
you could possibly use.
He tugged the sheet down and revealed
my breasts. Don t destroy my view, please
and the operative word is use, my sweet. I
don t care for being used and women use
men just as often as the other way round.
He curled up beside me against the head-
board and traced over a breast with one fin-
ger. But I don t mind if you use me. You
get a special pass.
I snorted and removed his hand. You
are far too handsome for your own good,
Ethan and you know it. That British charm
will not get you a free pass with me on any
day.
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He made a sarcastic noise. And you are
one tough Yank. I thought I was going to
have to pick you up and throw you in my car
that night.
It s fortunate you didn t or this nice
shag we ve just enjoyed? Never would ve
happened. I shook my head slowly with a
smile.
He tickled me at the ribs and made me
squeal. So it was just a nice shag for you,
huh?
Ethan! I batted his hands away and
scrambled to the edge of the bed.
He dragged me back and pinned me be-
neath him, a huge grin on his face. Brynne,
he drawled.
And then he kissed me. Just slow and
soft and gentle, but it felt intimate and
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special. Ethan settled me against his side
and adjusted our bodies under the sheets, his
heavy arm draped over and securing me. I
felt myself grow sleepy in the warm bed with
him. I knew it was a bad idea. Rules are
rules and I was breaking them.
I shouldn t stay the night, Ethan; I
really need to go&
No, no, no, I want you here with me,
he insisted, speaking into my hair.
But I shouldn t
Shhhhhhh, he interrupted me like he
had many times before and kissed my words
away. He stroked over my head, trailing his
fingers through my hair. I couldn t fight
him. Not after tonight. The security felt too
wonderful, my body too drained from all the
orgasms, his hard strength too comfortable
for me to battle him on the issue. So I slept.
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& The terrors are real. They come in the
night when I sleep. I try to fight them but
they nearly always win. Everything is dark
because my eyes are closed. But I hear the
sounds. Cruel words about someone, dis-
gusting words and names. And terrifying
laughter& They think it s funny to degrade
this person. My body feels heavy and
weak. Still I hear them laughing and re-
playing all of the evil they have done&
I woke up screaming and alone in
Ethan s bed. I figured out where I was when
he came crashing into the bedroom, eyeballs
wide. I started crying the minute I saw him.
The sobs just got louder when he sat on the
bed and grabbed me.
It s okay I ve got you. He rocked me
against his chest. Ethan was dressed and I
was still naked. You just had a bad dream,
that s all.
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Where did you go? I managed to ask in
between gasps.
I was just in my office these fucking
Olympics I work at night lately... He
pressed his lips to my head. I was right here
the whole time until you fell asleep.
You should have taken me home! I told
you I wouldn t stay the night! I struggled to
get out of his arms.
Christ, Brynne, what is the problem?
It s two a.m. in the bloody morning. You are
exhausted. Can t you just why won t you
sleep here?
I don t want it. It s too much! I can t
do it, Ethan! I pushed against his chest.
Jesus Christ! You let me bring you to
my house and fuck you wildly but you won t
sleep in my bed for a few hours? He
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brought his face down to mine. Talk. Why
are you scared here with me?
He looked hurt and sounded more than
a little offended. And I felt like a cruel bitch
on top of being an emotional, fucked-up
mess. He also looked beautiful in his faded
jeans and soft grey t-shirt. His hair was all
mussed and he needed a shave around his
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